| When
you have a suspicion that your teen is "experimenting"
with drugs, what do you do?
Be Prepared. Practice What You’ll Say
Be prepared for your teen to deny using
drugs. Don’t expect him/her to admit he/she has a problem.
Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject.
Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did
as a kid. If you are asked, it is best to be honest, and if you
can, connect your use to negative consequences. Answering deceptively
can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find
out that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t
feel comfortable answering the question, you can talk about some
specific people you know that have had negative things happen to
them as a result of drug and alcohol use. However, if the time comes
to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:
“When I was a kid I took drugs because some of my friends
did. I wanted to in order to fit in. If I’d known then about
the consequences and how they would affect my life, I never would
have tried drugs. I’ll do everything I can to help keep you
away from them.”
“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored
and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t
control the risks — the loss of trust of my parents and friends.
There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”
Act Now
You can begin to more closely monitor
your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask: Who?
What? Where? When? Reflect with your child on why he/she is using
drugs and try to understand the reasons why so that you can help
solve the problem. When you get a better idea of the situation,
then you can decide next steps. These could include setting new
rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable —
such as a new curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a
period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want
to get them involved in pro-social activities that will keep them
busy and help them meet new people. For more information about how
to set and enforce rules, visit the Advice area on www.TheAntiDrug.com.
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For specific advice about what to say and how to start the conversation
with your teen, read these talking
points.
For more information, download
the brochure, “Suspect You Teen is Using Drugs or Drinking?
-- A Brief Guide to Action for Parents” (PDF).
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